With a Good Heart
Part One – Daddy’s Little Girl
My childhood was not so very good. You know how the family where you together and do things? My family wasn’t like that. Only thing I learned how to do was basically fight and protect myself. As a child, I wanted to be daddy’s little girl. You know how you say how daddy treat his daughter so nice and so special? My daddy tried to rape me when I was fifteen. And that was in Oklahoma where my mom sent me to ‘cause I was pregnant and she was upset. She sent me to my daddy for the first time and that was my first time ever seen’ him.
I loved my mom but she was on drugs and in the streets half the time. She wouldn’t come home for weeks out of a time. Lights would be off, no water, I had to make sure my brother get to school, I get to school, dress him. Half the time we wouldn’t eat. At that time my Auntie was still livin’ and we’ll go over to her house or she’ll come get us. Half the time my Auntie and my mom would fight because my momma didn’t want my Auntie takin’ us. I left home when I was probably like seventeen or eighteen years old. I got out the best way I could – just believin’ in God.
Part Two – I Couldn’t Believe It
I lived on the streets for maybe ‘bout two or three years. Wherever I could sleep, if it was from people’s house that I knew, or at bus stops, or just anywhere I could sleep. You stay with people, they want they own space so they tell you you have to go, so it was real painful. I was really very very lonely and I didn’t have the love that I should have had.
I got off because I went to the shelter, I found Sally’s House – Salvation Army, they gave me what I needed, my medicine, my breathing machine. They let me stay there for a whole year and help me got into New Hope. I went through Search, got a caseworker, and that’s how I ended up here. I was so excited when I was movin’ in I don’t think I slept for ‘bout two days before I knew I was movin’ in ‘cause I was so happy and so relieved that I wasn’t goin’ to be on the streets anymore… ugh, I couldn’t believe it.
Part Three – Happy That It’s Really Over
Since I moved here, I’m happy. I love this place. I’m not leavin’. I’m happy. I feel safe. I can go in my apartment don’t have to worry ‘bout nobody kickin’ my door in, or breakin’ in. I don’t have to go from house to house. I don’t have to worry ‘bout where my next meal comin’ from, where I’m gonna sleep, when the next time I’m gonna shower… I don’t have to worry ‘bout that anymore. I’m safe. I can actually go in my apartment and go to sleep. I’m just happy that it’s, it’s really over. And I’m here. And I’m a better person now… a better person… with a good heart.